Okay, got my card number and phoned Ikea again.
‘Right thanks Mr. Caleb. We’ll look for your receipt and when we find it, we’ll send round an inspector to look at your mattress.’
What? After all this, you still don’t believe me? And you’ve got a squad of SS mattress inspectors?
Do I have to get the house cleaned? Polish my shoes? My God, I’ve got a slightly prominent nose and a Jewish sounding surname - will I escape from the inspection with my life?
Brand tOuch score out of ten: minus 10. Hopes: that the execution will be short and painless.
To be continued…