Fresh meat, Billy Bob? Copy that!

Howdy pardner,

Lost your way some?

Doan worry nun, weycome to de deep sowth!

A place where families stay real close-knit. Where love is free 'n' eezy and where, if you don't know yo way roun' a good ole country choon on a banjo... well... you won't fit in that good.

But hell, doan worry nun, we'll always find a way to fit in you!

An' yo sho weycome to try our homecooked food anytime. We like ta mosey on down to our local store, Billy Bob Morrison's. Oh he doan run the show no more... hell, he six feet in the groun'. But his boy Ken... boy oh boy... he be turning out some gooood shit on those shelves.

Aint that far away too.... 'bout 12 miles up yonder track. We can git up there lickety-split on the back o' Bertha. She's our prize sow an' she sho goood at taking a fine ole load from time to time, if ya get ma drift.

Anyhoo, we cooking up some damn fine sausage right now pardner... real thick 'n' juicy.

An when ah say thick... ah'm talkin' girth... oh boy... that's right... pork thick!

PORK THICK... ya hear?

Not beef thick.

Not lamb thick.

That's right pardner, PORK THICK. Six of 'em too.

An' doan let a liddle thing like a missin' full stop put you off. Lots a shit go missin' roun' these parts, aint no shame.

Now, sho ya won't stay an' join us?


Peter Baruffati said...

Pretty straightforward to me Larner.
Pork thick? Pig ignorant!

domconlon said...

Is it possible to breed pork? At what point does the dear pig lose its identity and become meat?

They do look mighty fine though.

Larner said...

Yeah - I hadn't even thought of that, Dom. Very sad actually. I guess it's just another method used to deflect the conscience away from what we are actually consuming - or more to the point, the way our food is farmed and eventually prepared for our plates.